Agent Query Connect, and No Journal Again Today

I posted my query on Agent Query Connect hoping to get some good advice on what I need to do to sharpen it up and my goodness, it's disheartening.  I've only even had two people critique it so far but I just feel smaller and smaller after each one.  I know, I know...critiques are not to be taken personally, but that's like saying I don't take my writing personally...and why the heck would I be writing it if I didn't feel a personal connection to it?  So no, I'm not crying or shutting up shop...I'm just feeling more and more mindful of how much of an amateur I really am.  And even that is super disheartening.  I've been writing in journals since I was 13 (obviously).  I've been starting novels since I was about 18 (just not finishing them...the Earths Project that exists today is the third version...it's the only full book I've actually completed).  But until January of this year, I've never let anyone read my writing.  I guess that isn't true, I blog...I've let people read parts of my journals...I've written papers in college, etc.  But January was the first time I've ever seriously urged people to critique my fiction.  Jesus, it's rough.  I imagine the three that read this book having conversations with their spouses or friends where they laugh at me behind my back and compare me to those terrible singers on American Idol who don't have a clue how horrible they are.

Oh please....don't let me be that awful.

Eh....I guess if I am, I still have a chance.  Like I've said before, there are really awful books out there making tons of money and gaining tons of fans.  But when I reread chapters I've edited and polished until they shine in my eyes, I don't feel awful.  I feel hopeful.  I guess that's what's still driving me to do this.

Here's the latest revision of my query...go critique it if you're a member of AgentQuery...

Melanie Foster is a 17-year-old with few friends, a crush on the new boy in school, and trouble deciding what she should do with her life after high school.  For Melanie, life is as ordinary as the next person's, until her parents are kidnapped and she finds out she’s from another planet. Always expecting little green men, Melanie is surprised to discover that extraterrestrials are actually just more humans and that the planet she grew up on is the Third Earth discovered and populated by the human race in a process known as the Earths Project.

Trying desperately to find and save her parents, Melanie is sent on a mission to the dangerous and unstable Second Earth. After its violent secession from the Earths Project, the Second Earth wasted their remaining resources, bred a population of deceitful liars, and is now plotting to steal a newly-discovered Seventh Earth by kidnapping the scientists who discovered it, Melanie’s parents. Posing an even bigger problem, Melanie discovers that her Third Earth is out of their own natural resources and will need the new Earth in order to survive.

If she can successfully complete her mission and help a group of allies known as the Visionists start a revolution on the Second Earth, Melanie will not only save her parents, but also the only world she has ever known.

Earths Project: Book One, First Earth is a YA Adventure/Sci-Fi complete at 82,000 words. Thank you very much for your consideration.