8/9/96 and Jewelry



8/9/96

Diary, This is what happened today.  I didn't get to run cause it rained!  I still haven't gotten a letter from Kathy!!!  **************  I learned a new card trick, but it screwed up until I did it my way.  And I got all this feelings that my family loves my sister more than me!  I still think its true.

 

Diary do you think I'm dumb to have those feelings?

 

       Gotta go, sorry I didn't write a lot.

 

                                      Millie

 

I'm pretty surprised at how censored I made myself back then when I was feeling emotional.  I had absolutely no problem writing about my ridiculous fantasized crushes, but when it came to being upset that my friends were making fun of me or my family made me feel sad, I just glossed over the info.  And I don't remember being the type to bottle up my feelings like that as a kid.  I'm certainly not that type today...if I'm upset about something, I cry.  I cry a lot.  I'm surprised I was so interested in sounding like someone I wasn't.  What a weird form of therapy this is becoming for me.  It's really making me reevaluate why I am who I am today.


As far as jewelry goes, I listed a new item last week that I was really excited about.  I was excited because it was a mostly original idea (I'll explain more later) and the 'sample' one I made was a gift for a friend who recently got married.  It was sent the Monday before her wedding but unfortunately, it didn't make it to her in time for the ceremony.  I was so sad my gift turned out to be so useless...

The reason I say it was mostly original was because I wanted to make the charm itself...had the design already ready with the date and the Swarovski crystal all added in my mind's eye...but I didn't know what to do with the charm.  So I looked around online and saw suggestions of adding it with a bow to the bouquet for the wedding day, so it's not flashy or obvious, but it's still 'with' the bride.  Then, when she transfers it to a chain after the wedding day, she can always have a reminder of such a great moment in her life.

So, I'm sorry, good friend of mine in PA...I should have used a faster shipping method. 
:'(

She has it now, and says she loves it.  She's one of the people who helped inspire a few different popular items I sell in my shop...like the fingerprint heart charm...the one photographed was the one I made from the prints of her and her boyfriend (now husband :)

I'm glad it did end up getting to her.  And she saw a photo of this charm on her wedding day (through a text I sent), so in her mind, she can remember it from that day, I guess?

Editing a Manuscript-Using Scrivener and Goodreader

I know I've written about this before, but I have to reiterate.  Saving my manuscript from Scrivener into a PDF, opening it on Goodreader on my mini iPad, using a stylus and the freehand writing tool and making edits directly onto the page, then flattening the file and sending it back to Scrivener is the easiest and most efficient way I've found to edit my manuscript thus far.  I then can open the edited version in Scrivener (having saved it in the "Research" section), split the screen, and type out the edits right in the actual manuscript like so:

So today, for my 'work on Earths Project' task, I finished editing and polishing up to chapter five, made sure I was happy with the synopsis, and sent a query to another agent.  The agent requires the first 50 pages, synopsis, and query.  I like the idea of sending more in the query, even though I was grumpy about it when I first realized it was a requirement for so many agents.  The reason I've warmed up to the idea is because if the query itself catches an agent's eye, they can easily read more and decide what they think.  And since I've obviously got confidence in my work (or else, why would I be working so hard on its behalf), I feel like my chances can only get better the more they read.

That's all for today...I'll continue with my 1996 journal tomorrow.

Editing a Manuscript, Saturday, and Journal from 8/7/96 and 8/8/96

I'm having a great day.  This morning I got semi-caught up on my jewelry making tasks for the weekend and afterward I folded 3 loads of laundry and started a new one. I even went for a run with the dog right after I woke up...the run was more of a walk because I feel like I've got lead legs lately when I try to jog, but it was still worth the effort.  After the laundry and jewelry, I still had some time while the hubby was out with our daughter running errands, so I used 15 minutes to voice record another chapter of my book.  Doing the voice recording has really made me think about how well or poorly the story I've tried to create flows.  And when I have a bad chapter, I get red in the face while I'm reading out loud...but when I have a good chapter, I get a surge of confidence that lingers for hours.  It's still lingering now and I feel really confident that my writing (up until chapter 4 at least) is sounding the way I want it to sound.  It is getting me more excited to do the second round of editing.

I can't wait until Scrivener releases their iPad app.  I know I still have a while to wait, but it's nice to know it's coming.  Hm...maybe I shouldn't be so hasty to say that it's good to know I have it to look forward to...because I've lately been using that as a crutch and excusing myself from editing because I know it'll be easier when that app exists (my whole book is written in Scrivener, so to be able to read chapters and edit right on the page with my iPad sounds so convenient).  But getting this resurgence of desire to see this thing through and get an agent and (oh god, it's like my go-to fantasy daydream) sign a book deal needs to start somewhere.  And polishing this book to the point where I feel confident on every chapter instead of just every other one is what I need to focus on now.

So the editing must continue.  I'm still following through with my daily writing regimen, but I haven't actually gotten back into editing the manuscript.  I've decided though, that I'm going to pick up where I left off...the edits I've made so far are still marked in red all over the pdf of the whole book I've been reading through Goodreader on my iPad and, for the most part, they're legible, so I just need to continue making those edits.  Typing them out on the actual computer is the scary part.

Back to the journal...

Diary, I don't think David likes me anymore.  I went ******** and he only talked to me once!  Than he asked my ************** to watch a movie!  Didn't even ask me to go to so I had to sit ****************** :'(
                                         Millie

PS The worst part is, I think ************(someone I didn't like had a crush on me)**************

8/7/96
Diary, last night I was watching "Little Rascles" and the one kid said all these names of people that make a team. ***************** I know it was just a coinsodence, but it could come true!

Also, yesterday night I was helping my sister clean her room and she gave me something called a "monkey's fist" and a pez dispencer, a lot of clothes, and a really neat pen! llllllllll <--it ran out!
Oh well!

                                          Millie

PS This morning me and my brother and sister went for a run.  My brother beet me and I beet my sister.

8/8/96
Diary, I think he likes me again!  Yesterday when **************************** but he asked me instead (which he never does)

I ran again today!  and I kind of ran with my sister so no one really won.

***************
                                         Millie

Diary, I haven't been hearing the footsteps outside anymore.  Maybe the ghost decided to go haunt someone else for a change.  I really wish I could tell you something more exciting But there's nothing else to write about but boys!  I know that's the most boring thing I could write about but oh well!  I guess I just have as normal of a life as it can get!

I wish I can write to Kathy but its her turn to write to me!  I guess she just got bored writing to me!  Diary, should I write to her and remind her to write to me?  I'll give her 2 more weeks then I'll write to her!

      I have to go feed my chameleon
                  Millie

Sorry about all the blued out words.  I really censored these ones a lot.  They're just as embarrassing as before.  I am getting numb to it.  I just don't want any identifying information showing up...you know, in case I become a famous author some day and people actually read this blog.  I guess by then an editor or agent will probably force me to take this blog down.  Ahhh, there I go, daydreaming again.

Anyways...we're all just trying to avoid the crazy heat here in Arizona.  It's expected, but this is my first summer in the desert, so I feel like I'm allowed to complain for a while.  Plus, I'm pregnant, so that gives me double reason to complain.

Off to writing the paragraphs for my Synopsis in Six Sentences :)

Writing a Synopsis and the Next Journal Entry (date unknown)

I've been thinking about re-querying agents (well, not exactly 're-querying' so much as sending out my query to a few new batches of agents).  Unfortunately, one thing I hadn't anticipated after writing my original query back in March was writing a synopsis.  I just didn't see that as part of what I would need to do in order to try and persuade an agent to represent me.  I was wrong, so I tried writing up a quick synopsis and found out...yea, not so easy.  Today, for my 'do something on Earths Project' part of my To-Do list, I decided to research again how to best write a synopsis.  I easily found this blog post:

http://writerswrite1.wordpress.com/2013/05/22/how-to-write-a-synopsis

There's also a cool image attached to the blog (and I think this blog post is reposted from the original blog, so I apologize that I was too lazy to track down the original poster).

Immediately, I started applying this tactic to my book.  I am up to the third sentence and I'm finding it to be a much more helpful way of turning this arduous task into a much more manageable one.  Hopefully I'll be able to come up with the last few sentences for this and turn them into paragraphs without much trouble.  That'll be the goal for my weekend? 

On to the next journal entry...I block out a lot from the second page because I'm pretty sure it's for the next day, but for some reason, I stopped writing dates for a few pages.

Diary,  My mom just went for an interview.  Wish her luck!  She has a lot of experience so unless they pick family, she's in the bag!

I might bring you with me when we go to hershey on the 22nd.  If I don't bring you, I'll fill you in on the details when I get back.

I never had a diary that I enjoy to write in and kept this long.  I hope no on ever finds you and reads you!  Unless I'm dead!  Then it won't really matter!  I wish I could write about more exciting stuff but it would be more dumb if I lied!

I hope when I grow up ***************************************
I want an interesting job like being an archeiologist!  Now that would be fun!  I'm not sure if I want kids?  Maybe when I get older I'll change my mind!

                               Millie

Diary, It's so HOT!  I wish my neighbors would invite me down to swim!

I can't wait until my dad and I finish the tree house!  Then I can hide you out there!

                               Millie

I definitely remember wanting to be an archaeologist.  I think it was because of the movie 'Jurrasic Park'.  In fact, I'm sure of it.  I think my mother got that job she had interviewed for...not positive though.  I also think my neighbors invited me down that day.  The only reason I kept that part for this entry is because it's supposed to be 119 degrees in Phoenix today...the hottest day of the year so far.  It's about 2pm, so I'm assuming it's pretty bad out already.  I'm staying inside as much as I can today.

I remember not wanting kids through most of my childhood.  I didn't really decided I wanted a baby until I lived in Louisiana...about 4 or 5 years ago.  When that baby fever came on, I couldn't look at a baby without wanting one of my own with an intensity I've never before experienced.  So I guess there was no way of knowing at 13 that I'd get that innate urge.   

Guess that one wasn't so bad as far as embarrassment goes. Also, it's funny that I am totally screwing over the younger version of myself who wrote this and was so adamant about no one ever reading it (because, as you can see, I'm not dead).

No Journal Today

I have to take a break because the next couple of entries are almost as embarrassing as the previous one, and I need a breath between them.  Sadly, today, I saw all over Facebook that the town I just moved from (DuBois, PA) is flooding right now.  I truly hope everyone who I know, and everyone who lives there, is remaining safe.  For a minute there today, I was extremely thankful for the fact that I'm no longer there so I didn't have to deal with the fear of how to get to the daycare to get my daughter.  My heart goes out to any parents who are there having that type of scary situation as a reality right now. 

I hope our former home is staying dry...especially because my husband spent many thousands of dollars and hours finishing the basement. 


I feel like there's no good way to transition to another subject, so I'm just going to bluntly do so.  This afternoon, I spent a few minutes deciding on a few things I want to do EVERY day for my writing.  The writing, in the long run, is what I want to do...with a passion...so I need to realize that I can't just expect this to happen without any hard work on my part.  So I made a list of three things that will pop up as reminders on my phone every day at 8:30pm, partly just as a constant daily reminder, but also because if it does slip my mind, the best time of day for me to force myself to make time is after my kiddo goes to bed.  The three things are:

 

Write at least 15 minutes

(I wish I could find it realistic to make that a longer amount of time, but I know I can't...and I don't want to shoot myself in the foot right off the bat)

Blog

(that's you!  so I'll either be adding a journal entry or writing about writing or jewelry or life)

Edit or do something with Earths Project

(lately...well, yesterday and the day before...I started reading the book out loud to my iPhone memo thing...I actually downloaded an app called DropVox, which puts my recording directly into a folder in Dropbox...which is helpful because if I save them with the Voice Memos app, I have to connect them directly to my computer to get them off my phone when they're past a certain length)

 



 

So we'll see how this new process goes, but it's a way to remind myself daily that this is what I want, and I can't just expect it to happen for me...I have to work for it.  Even if I have a full-time job, jewelry business on the side, husband, child and a baby on the way.  Ha.  But seriously....I don't function well with too much free time...so filling it is second nature to me.  And why not fill it with something like making my dreams come true?

 

Cheesy...but whatever.

:)

Oh my goodness...

It's 3:33 and 3 is my favorite number, so let me just take a second to make a few wishes.

Okay...so nothing too interesting going on the past couple of days.  Yesterday, I took the toddler to the gym so I could do some Yoga and, with 15 minutes left in class, the fire alarm started going off.  Now this is the Palm Valley Lifetime Fitness gym so at 6:45 on a Tuesday night, the place is PACKED.  Even the daycare was overwhelmed with kids, so I asked them to give my daughter a green sticker to sort of keep her in a more supervised area (she's almost 3 and with the high energy and brave attitude, I didn't want her going off and getting herself into trouble).  So, this was basically my first moment of true fear as a parent.  I'm upstairs in this back room doing a nice quiet yoga session with about a dozen other people when suddenly I'm being taken down a set of stairs in a back maintenance area wondering which side of the building I am on and how I'm going to get back in to find my daughter among the crowd of other children.  Eventually, I find the outside play area and run to the door that leads into the gym right outside the doors to the daycare area.  Lines of children are funneling out, hand-in-hand.  About 30 leave the daycare when I finally see mine, first in the line of a dozen other kids, holding hands..she looks like such a brave little leader and I'm filled with relief and pride.  I make sure with the daycare supervisors that it's okay for us to leave...because I'm thinking, if that were my job, I'd be terrified.  How on Earth are they going to keep track of all these kids?  How easy could it be for some asshole creeper to just take a random kid, pretend they're the parent, and lead them to their car?  Hopefully all went well with that fiasco...I have no clue...but I'm very thankful to have found my daughter and gotten her home safely.

So, that's two weeks in a row of only 45 minutes worth of the yoga class.  It's Yin/Restorative, so I love it because it's relaxing and feels like an amazing stretch/massage for the body.  Last week, I thought it started at 6:30 so I got there 15 minutes after its real start time, thinking I was going to be early.  There better not be a fire alarm tomorrow night...I have a pedicure in the gym's spa at 6 o'clock.

I'm just stalling....this journal entry is the MOST EMBARRASSING one to date.  I know it's going to just get more and more difficult to include full journal entries, but this one is rough.  (I'm really enjoying this project though...I hope people out there reading this don't think I'm a complete crazy person for doing this...I know there's about ten of you visiting this page on an almost daily basis...so to those 10 of you, please don't judge me too harshly).

8/6/96

Sorry I didn't write more yesterday.  I was kinda busy, first Rose came over and we went to the Slocum Deli.  I got flying saucers!  Oh yah and green things.  I love (arrow to flying saucers)!  The are my all time favorite candy!!!  I also did something else yesterday.  I went ***** I saw David a little but that was enough to dream about him! ******** He's nice but he's also spoiled rude and vain!  That's enough to turn me away (referring to a friend of David's)

Diary, I heard the footsteps last night!!! I didn't look out my window, I was about to but they disappeared!!! It was around 10:30 11:00!! I'm going to definatly listen tonight

Diary I wish I had P.K. abilities but unfortunately I don't.  Diary, you might find this rediculous but I tried to transport myself to David's room last night!  Of course it didn't work, but I'm glad it didn't.  How would I get out!

Diary I just had the wierdest imagination!  I just imagined ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ******************************************************
And that's all! (thank god) Diary do you think I'm obsessed?

                        Millie

Oh holy jesus.

So just suffice it to say that those stars were the most embarrassing of this entry.  I was 13 years old.  You may think this type of random crazy talk is forgivable at that age but I definitely do not agree.  I was THIRTEEN.  In some cultures, I'd be having kids and being completely mature at that age.  And yes, I'm thankful that I had the privilege and the fortune to have the ability to be a kid at that age...but I would have been more proud of myself if I had used my life for more good.  Tried to learn a good skill (like piano, or put my efforts toward something like science)...but no...I was ridiculously immature and being ridiculous with my time.

Ughhh....okay.....nothing good is coming of me bashing my former self.  This was almost 20 years ago (man, that makes me feel old).

Anyway...I also wanted to add that I still love eating flying saucers.  They're these wafers that are spherical and have a hollow inside with tiny hard candies inside.  Yum!

Weekend and Journal Entry (8/5/96)

This past weekend was pretty great.  Not for any particular reason but because I got everything I wanted to do accomplished and still had enough time for fun and relaxation.  I made jewelry, listened to an entire audiobook (it was only a little over 4 hours long, The Giver, but it was still impressive in my opinion), finished The Storyteller audiobook (one of my favorite books now), did laundry, hung out with the kiddo, took the dog for a walk both Saturday and Sunday, visited a great friend I haven't seen in too long, worked out on Saturday, cleaned my car inside and out, and other little things (like dishes).  Though I was exhausted, I felt really content last night.  There are so many times that I feel like I've wasted days away, and this was not one of those times. 

There was something specific I wanted to write a blog about but I currently have no recollection of what that was.  I just remember thinking "I should write a post about that".  I'm sure it'll come to me eventually.

So on to the journal entry...

8/5/96
Diary, I was pretty mad last night ********(more info about that crush I wrote about in the last entry)

I chickened out yesterday night and just fell asleep!  I guess it's just easier said than done!

I wrote a letter to Mad About You last night, to keep me busy.  I sure hope they write back.  I collect autographs.  So far I have Tim Allen (Best), Jim Carrey, Cathy Ireland & The Cast of Home Improvement (other best).

I have my door open right now, because my brother isn't home, neither are my parents.

I'm supposed to do something with Rose today but shes not home!

Lately I've been thinking of ideas for inventions: A calculator, time, atlas, TV watch!  I wish it was already invented, I would have one!!!

I left a message on Rose's machine so she should (hopefully) call back.

I actually enjoy painting my nails, so I'm going to go and do them now!

                                                   Millie :D

I guess my iPhone would have made my 1996 self pretty darn happy.  I've always loved technology....but I'm glad I wrote about the tree house in this journal because I've also always loved nature and being outdoors. 

I did end up getting that Mad About You cast of autographs.  I think all of them are still in a folder somewhere in my current house (my husband being in the Air Force, I've moved quite a few times since then, so it's saying something that I still have that random childhood collection).

Obviously, I had an issue with being honest to myself about things like wanted to paint my nails.  I didn't want random future people (all of you who might be reading this today, I guess), thinking that my 13-year-old self was so girly and vain. 

My last thought on this one...what I wouldn't give to have time to write a letter to a TV Show requesting an autograph just to pass my time.....jeesh....I was telling my husband earlier that I wish someone would invent a way for human adults to live (with no health side effects) with only about 4 hours of sleep a day.  I'd LOVE to have a few extra hours of awake and alert time a day (and not have to take caffeine pills to accomplish this, or feel like death the next day).