Friday, July 4, 2014

Contest! Win a Fingerprint Ring!

Well hello!  It has been a while!  I'm still busy writing and making jewelry.  Also started a new writing project a little over a month ago and it's going well (more on that in a future post)!

In jewelry news, my shop, CarmellasJewelry, reopened in April and I've been wanting to add a new fingerprint ring.  The thing is, I want it to be more of a man's width and I don't know any men that wear rings.

Since I haven't actually made the ring yet (I'll need the winner's fingerprint for that), I can't show you an image of what the ring will look like.  I can give you the basic concept though.  The below image is of a piece of metal clay that I wrapped around my mandrel.  It overlaps where the name Jane is displayed.  Picture that same overlap, but on a larger scale (a wider band) with a fingerprint where the name is.

So to be absolutely clear, there won't be a name on the ring you win.  There will be a fingerprint.

This general idea, but a wider band and a fingerprint in place of the name--
see above for more details


To win the overlapping pure silver (.999) fingerprint ring, you can enter by doing any of the following:

(1 entry)  ------- Follow my blog

(1 entry)  ------- Use that same account name to comment on this blog post (check out my jewelry shop and tell me what you like most or what you think I should add)

(1 entry)  ------- Share this contest on Facebook (mention my facebook page in your post @carmellasjewelry so I can give you credit)

(1 entry)  ------- Tweet about my contest (mention me @charms4moms in your tweet to get credit!)

This contest will start as soon as I make this post live and will run until Friday, July 18, 2014.  You can get up to 4 entries and I'll choose randomly from the pool of entries on Saturday, July 19, 2014 (get all 4 to increase your chances of winning!).


Upon being notified of winning, please email me an image of the fingerprint (let me know if you have trouble getting a fingerprint--an inkpad on white paper is usually the easiest method) AND the size of the ring.  The fingerprint MUST be the fingerprint of an adult.  The ink image of the fingerprint must be defined and I reserve the right to request a different image.  Keep in mind, the ring will have a wider band than the one displayed in the above image.  The above image is only to illustrate the overlap design the ring will have.  The ring will not be adjustable.  The winner must have an address in the United States.  The ring will be shipped at my expense through the USPS First Class.  I'll create a 3D stamp from the image of the fingerprint and the winning ring will be photographed and listed as a new item in my jewelry shop  I will create the winning ring and ship it within 3-4 weeks after receiving an acceptable image of the fingerprint.

Good luck!!!

Just another image so you can have a better idea of what it'll look like:
Fingerprint Ring - Band - Men's or Women's solid silver fingerprint band - Pure Silver - free shipping in the US
It'll look sort of like this, except the silver will overlap like a belt

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Being a Mom

They say that ‘life will never be the same’ and they recite it over and over again to young men and women who are considering sex, marriage, whatever it is that leads to a baby. But what do they know? No one takes that seriously until life is never the same already. Until you look down at that face you made and see those eyes. Until all the seconds after that moment are dedicated to that face, to that little person who wasn’t a person before. And there’s no looking back, nothing will ever be the same, and you get it. You understand completely why they say what they say. Life will never be the same. Ever. Not another single moment of your life will occur without this new little person in your mind. No matter what.
I never understood, and neither will you, until you go through it. Until the hours or minutes of screaming, the pain, the surgery, whatever it takes for that moment to come when this new person who wasn’t a person, wasn’t an anything before your body worked its impossible magic and created something so over-the-top perfect…until this little being is crying, or looking, or lying in your arms, you’ll never know what it’s like. Love. Pure, completely unfaltering love. And fear. An overwhelming love mixed with an overwhelming fear and worry and joy and terrifying, breath-stopping fear. This perfect little gorgeous and incredible being is here now, and completely reliant on you. And you’re completely reliant on her, or him, but in my case, just her, times two.
And then the days are revolving around something else other than you and you wonder things like ‘why did I ever complain about being bored’ because boredom is a word stripped from your vocabulary for the foreseeable future. There might never again be a time where I sit and think ‘I have nothing to do’. And things you may have thought were disgusting before have become a numb part of your everyday routine. I say numb because you don’t think twice about smelling a wet spot to see if it’s poop, or spit up, or vomit. You just do it.
Sleep has become so scarce that you consider your ability to function normally without it as a strength in your new lifestyle. Your new lifestyle, of course, being one that revolves around something else other than you. For the rest of your life.
You’d do whatever it takes to keep that new person thriving and even when you have no idea what to do, you do it. You listen to all the advise, you follow your instinct, you call the doctor, you call your mother, you call your friend who’s a mother, you express your concerns to the world and listen to the feedback, you wonder every moment of every day whether what you’re doing is the right thing or if you should be doing something else. And it’s never the right thing, but then you tell yourself, that’s not a bad thing. Or is it?
Where are the answers? Why haven’t we figured them all out yet? We’ve had millions of chances, billions of experiences with this, why isn’t there a concise list of undeniable answers to all of the questions I’ll ever have about how to do the right thing so my perfect little being can have the perfect life? Because we don’t have control over everything…anything. And that’s where the fear comes in. I can’t control the outcome, so my pure joy is always tinted a little darker with fear. And that’s okay, the trade off is totally worth it.  

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Contests Coming Up :)

I'm starting to come up with new ideas for my shop and I want to start making samples...and since I'll have sample pieces of jewelry or key chains lying around, I might as well put them to good use and promote my blog.  This blog is obviously a bit unconventional, considering I write about so many different topics (writing, breastfeeding, parenting, jewelry, even weight loss), so I don't know if I'll ever have a real audience, but it can't hurt to try, right?

So, in the next couple of weeks, I'm going to post photos and info about some sample products.  At some point, I'll start a contest that if people follow my blog, or comment on a post, they'll be entered to win the sample jewelry.

Sound good?  I've never done this before, and I'm too lazy (busy?) to really look into the proper way of going about it, but if you comment as yourself, or 'follow' my blog, it's easy for me to keep track and I can use the profile you comment with to contact you when you win.  There will probably be other ways to enter the contest (like sharing the blog on facebook, or liking my jewelry shop on facebook, I'll have to figure out the logistics before the contests really start).

Just wanted to plant the seed, since I've been considering this for a while.

Who knows, the odds will probably be pretty good that you'll win!  :)

Saturday, April 5, 2014

White COPPRclay!!!

I LOVE it!  I don't have a ton of experience with it yet but the little experience I've had was excellent.  The clay right out of the bag has a bronze clay color (don't let it deceive you, the final fired product is deceivingly silver).  It has a good consistency, not as crumbly as the bronze right out of the bag, but not as soft and pliable as silver.  It didn't seem to dry out very fast either, but I only made flat keychains with imprints, so I didn't work with it long enough to have a reliable opinion.

So the reason I bought this clay in the first place was in hopes that it'll be a better medium to make sturdy silver colored keychains without breaking from the slightest tap against another hard surface like Hadar's White Bronze Clay (terrible excuse for a metal...I never had a good experience firing it, it's a waste of money, in my opinion).

In the clay form, White COPPRclay is just fine.  I didn't really care how it handled the clay form though, I was more interested in how it'd turn out after being fired.  I found a couple of sites instructing to fire it in two phases (ramp to 500 to 600 degrees and hold for 10 minutes...the only thing I changed here was having it hold for 15 minutes because my keychains were thick and I worried the binder wouldn't burn probably would have been fine at 10 minutes).

The second phase instructs you to ramp full to 1850 and hold for 2 hours.  And it specifies that temperature regardless of the size of the piece.  This gave me a glimmer of hope that it would turn out okay.  The other thing that made me confident was the fact that this metal is supposed to be able to bend after it's fired.  White Bronze specifically instructs the fired piece not to be hammered or bent (um, because the tiniest impact with this 'metal' breaks it into several pieces).  I found another article describing alternate firing times here.  So I went with a higher temperature (I'm jaded from all the problems with the White Bronze not sintering).  I set the kiln to full ramp to 1925 degrees for 2 hours, but I turned off the kiln at 1 hr 15 min because it started to smell like it was on fire.  Aside from the terrible fear that either a.) my  house was doomed to burn to the ground, or b.) my kiln was ruined, I waited several hours (about 8, to be honest) for the kiln to cool to room temperature (which is actually instructed with White COPPRclay, but I also was afraid I'd open the kiln to find a flaming melted steel box).  When it was all cooled off, I pulled out the three keychains I had fired...all three looked lovely.  A beautiful silver color straight out of the carbon.  And after carefully tapping the keychain I made for my husband on the dryer, I heard the sweet sound of the jingle of metal against metal.  I got brave and dropped it on the floor (basically cement with linoleum over it).  Not only did it stay intact, it actually bounced, like when you drop a coin and have to chase it across the room.  Success!! On the FIRST try!!!

So, I'm hooked.  Bring on the sales!  I guess to have sales, I'll need to make more samples to post.  And I'll need to actually renew items in my shop.  Currently, nothing is for sale.  Everything in good time.  I'm glad I wrote my previous helped me overcome some of the anxieties I had in the process of making these keychains.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


I have a serious issue with this.  I mean, serious enough that I start to dread the easiest, most basic tasks that I know will only take a few minutes to complete.  If there's anything about the task that I'm uncomfortable with or anxious about (a piece of jewelry coming out less than par, a task I'm not 1,000% sure how to do, etc.) I put it off for days...even weeks sometimes.  And it gets to the point where I start feeling slightly sick when I think about it.  So that's a problem.  Sometimes I don't even realize it's something I'm procrastinating until it's already delayed or ridiculously close to the deadline.  Why can't I just get things done?  I know how much I hate worrying about them and putting things off will only make me feel worse.

So starting this week: 
I'll get the things I need to do DONE by the end of the week.


I'll start recognizing things I'm putting off before I let them go too long and I'll complete them as soon as I can. 


There's no way I'll automatically stop procrastinating, but if I make a habit of this, maybe I won't feel so uncomfortable about things like this anymore.  Seriously, just thinking about some of the things I have to do right now makes my arms go a little awful is that?  I should probably seek professional help about this, ha.  No, but seriously, I probably should. 

So tonight, I'll start one of the jewelry tasks I've been putting off and I'll finish the other jewelry task I've had ready to finish for a few days now.  Both things have aspects about them that make me nervous (I'm afraid they won't turn out as good as I want them to so I'm avoiding them...which isn't helping the situation at is what it is, putting them off won't change that). 

On a brighter note, I started writing a short story when I got that Asus t100 and I'm really happy with it so far.  It's giving me the chance to work on the voice I want my writing to have. 

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Trying to Get Healthier

When I had my first daughter, I lost weight much quicker than I'm losing now.  I know this because I used Calorie Count and I've gone back to check (since it keeps that kind of crap for I can easily go back and see how much less I weighed in 2008 than I do now).  Since Peanut Butter was born, I've been eating as much or more than when I was pregnant.  So I've lost about 5 total pounds since the water weight went away after labor.  That puts me at about 20 pounds more than I was before I got pregnant.  TWENTY pounds.

So, starting this past Sunday, I began calculating my calories again on Calorie Count.  It's not like this is the first time I've tried using this since it worked so well for me...back in 2008, of course...I actually lost 20 pounds then, keeping track of what I ate and exercising. I ate 500 less calories a day than I burned and lost that much weight in less than 4 months.

In just the 3 days since starting this, I've 'lost' 2 pounds.  FYI, I know this doesn't mean I actually lost that much weight.  It's water weight and it's probably about what I would be if I was eating a little less crap and a little more fruits and vegetables.  I've decided only to weigh myself every other day, hoping this'll keep me from getting discouraged when the weight isn't changing.  Weight isn't the only thing that matters, blah blah blah, but when you look in the mirror and see a size you've never been before, and most of your clothes don't fit, and the number on the scale calculates with your height to put you in the 'overweight' range, it's okay to want to worry and work on changing a self-destructive lifestyle.  My baby deserves a cleaner supply of breastmilk and I deserve to care about how I look and feel about myself.

There is a bit of talk that losing too much weight, too fast while breastfeeding can result in toxins in the milk, but trust me, I'm not going to lose too much weight, too fast.

On a total side note, I freakin love my new bluetooth.  Wore it running tonight with the dog, stayed put and didn't cut out at all...having something in just one ear gives me the chance to hear whatever I'm listening to (currently 'Dark Places' by Gillian Flynn) and the traffic.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

New Bluetooth Headset

Someone forgot their fancy Platronics bluetooth headset at our Legislative Day event at the AZ state capitol building this past Wednesday.   So instead of letting it gather dust in lost and found, I paired it with my phone and tried it out.  The thing has a thousand times better signal with my iPhone 5 than the one I currently have (which has such terrible range that if I put my phone in my pocket, or turn my head away from my phone, the signal cuts out).  I honestly didn't think I could get a bluetooth headset that would work better than the pathetic marginal connection I've been dealing with for over a year.  So I never looked.  Okay, it's not like I am just the type to accept something that has such poor quality, I had one before that had just as bad of a connection and range, and I also find the same issue happening with a couple of bluetooth speakers I've used.  I just thought, bluetooth must just not work too well with the iPhone 5.  Whatever.  And I love the idea of having a discreet little headphone in one ear so that I can listen to podcasts, NPR, an Audiobook, all without having the hassle of interrupting others or dealing with cords getting caught on things.  So I've dealt with the crappy signal.  Made sure to stick my phone in my bra (great signal there), or tuck it upright in my right back pocket (works well unless I bend down to pick something up), or in my armband on my right bicep (which, believe it or not, also loses signal quite regularly).  And I've trudged on...continuing to listen to my broken up podcasts or books, hoping the next iPhone would work better (and by next, I mean the iPhone 6, or whatever it'll be called).  Until I paired this Platronics Voyager Legend bluetooth.  No signal was lost with my phone in my pocket, or if I turned my head, not even when I put my phone behind my back and sat smothering it into the office chair at work.  So I decided all hope wasn't lost.  Maybe I just needed to research this more.  Finding pretty much the same reviews and mediocre possibilities as I now remember finding last year when I purchased the bluetooth I have, I decided to just walk around Best Buy and ask one of the people who are paid to know things like this.  She knew nothing.  Pointed to the platronics one I was borrowing from the lost and found (it's freakin huge and bulky, I'll post a photo...)
I mean, the microphone is just ridiculous, especially considering I don't ever intend to use this to make phone calls, unless it's too inconvenient not to.  So I had a little birthday money stashed away and figured, since that annoying Best Buy employee can't point me in the right direction, I'll just buy bluetooth after bluetooth until I find one that works this well.

I'm SOOOO happy I did.  The first try was the winner.  The box said something about having a range up to 300ft...sold.   It's a Motorola Boom and I did actually see some positive reviews for it during my research.  I'm so glad I made that choice.  When i finally figured out how to get it to work (I kept expecting it to have a little light show up when plugging it in to charge it but it turns out, the light is so tiny, I thought it was a speck of paint on the volume buttons...there's a much more appropriate looking spot on the outside that isn't actually a light).
So once I realized it was actually working fine, I paired it with my phone, and feeling a bit nervous, slid my phone into my pocket to test it out.  Expecting the typical break in signal, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I can have my phone in any pocket, turn my head in any direction, even walk into another room, and this thing never loses signal.  It does when the microwave is on (duh), or if I walk too far away, or have too many walls between my ear and my phone, but I seriously couldn't duck behind the couch before without missing most of what Ira Glass was saying.   So obviously I've been listening constantly.  I finished One More Thing by BJ Novak...which was less entertaining, in my opinion, after the halfway point.  Caught up on my favorite podcasts (Books on the Nightstand, Studio 360, some other NPR ones, I Should be Writing, All Write Already, Writing Excuses), started 'Dark Places' by Gillian Flynn...whenever I get back into doing something like this (which feels like a break for my brain while my body is doing something unpleasant, like folding clothes), I get all forgiving of myself for not doing everything I want to do with my life.  For instance, I haven't been writing much at all since I finished editing my book for the second time.  And this afternoon I decided, it doesn't mean I'm not a writer. It doesn't mean I'm giving up on myself.  I can take a damn break, for crying out loud.  The reason doesn't matter.  So I'm upset with my writing right now...that doesn't mean I need to quit for good.  I need to be okay with myself before I force myself to write when I don't want to, which will make it feel even more forced and horrible.

Okay, this was a lot more detail than it needed to be to get the simple point across that I got a new bluetooth, and it's awesome.  So, if you're like me and you like listening to talk radio, podcasts, audiobooks, and you have a smartphone (seriously, how did I exist before my iPhone?), and you want a good Bluetooth...try this one out.  It's freakin awesome.

Friday, March 28, 2014

Ahh...that's better

Wanted to get past that 113th post.  So here I am, the 114th.  A nice, safe number.  I got good feedback from another reader of my manuscript, but she also thinks my book has a lot of room to grow.  It needs to be stronger in character building, also the relationships between the characters, especially between the protagonist and her parents.  I actually look forward to writing a couple of brand new chapters to start off the book.  I don't know exactly what should happen in them, but it's real writing, not just editing.  Then, of course, the rest of the damn thing will need to be edited again, but I can't just give up on this.  Right? ...

Ick...the 113th post...I hate the number 13

So let's just tear this post off like a band aide.  I don't like the number 13.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Parenting is Rough

I took my baby to daycare today for the first time.  I've been back to work for a few weeks but we were on a waiting list for the daycare so she's been going to an in-home woman for the waiting period.  The first time I dropped her off there I didn't shed a tear.  This morning I cried from the moment I put PB in the arms of the impersonal 'teacher' at the daycare to the moment I finished my commute to work (about a 30 minute drive). 

The place itself is great.  Great atmosphere, an appropriate number of happy babies rolling around the floor, crawling through clean and safe padded tunnels, not a crying baby to be heard.  But handing her off to a place that has rules so strict (she can't sit in a swing for more than 15 minutes at a time, no car seats can be left on the premises, her bottles need to be completely prepared and labeled and taken home overnight, you have to put BOOTIES over your shoes if you want to walk past the entrance of the room, you have to report to them how many diapers AND how many wipes you're dropping off for her, I could go on and on...) makes the whole thing seem uncomfortable.  She'll be  not so much.  At least with everything else, I feel completely fine with her being there.  Other than the fact that she probably won't nap for the first week or two (she's used to comfy warm car seats or swings to sleep in...they have a crib with a thin mattress, no sheet over it, and that's the only place she's aloud to sleep). 

So this whole experience had me thinking on my way to work this morning.  Some of the hardest things I've ever had to do have involved two little people younger than four.  I'm 31 years old and the top five most heart wrenching, emotionally and physically exhausting, seemingly impossible things I've have to handle have involved one or both of my daughters. 

This is number one on my list of most difficult things I've ever been through.  Seriously.  Above labor for both kids (because I wasn't alone during labor...I didn't have to handle it by myself):
1.  Cleaning vomit off my 3 year old daughter at an airport, two hours before the five hour flight to Arizona, while being sick myself and having to use all my will to keep myself from throwing up...then doing it all again in a coach passenger seat twice during the flight.  Poor little girl. 

2.  Finding out our younger daughter might have Cystic Fibrosis (she doesn't, but her newborn screening was abnormal for it, so for about 4 hours we were terrified she might really have it). 

3.  Steve's grandmother's passing.

4.  Labor with my older daughter.

5.  Labor with my second daughter.

6.  Taking my older daughter to daycare the first day (and the build up).

7.  Taking my second daughter to daycare today.

That puts it into perspective.  It's the 7th hardest thing I've had to face in my life up to this point.

8.  Flying to Spain at age 20 to study abroad.

So not even in the same realm of difficult as the top seven on this list. 

9.  Sicknesses the older daughter has had (stomach flus, strep throat, etc.).

10.  Sicknesses I've had (same as daughter).

I'll stop here.  They just get more and more pointless after that.  I'm very lucky to say these are the hardest things I've lived through to this point.  I'm also an idiot for listing them (like I'm just asking for the worst kind of jinx).  I just wanted to point out how extremely difficult it is to be a parent.  How much of my heart it takes to do the things they need.  For someone who is already a little too emotional, it's like a roller coaster on a daily basis (especially my 3 year old...I can go from thinking she's the most amazing and adorable little girl one minute to yelling at her and putting her in her room the next.  She pushes our buttons and tests her limits constantly now that she has to compete for attention).

This definitely isn't a new concept.  I guess I'm just having one of those days where I need to get these thoughts out of my head in order to function normally.

I really hope my little girl is okay during the day.  I'd call, but I'm afraid they'd yell at me and say it's against the rules to check on our kids.  Dicks.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

The Jewelry Shop

I'm getting really anxious (a sort of good kind of anxious) to open my jewelry shop again.  There's a new type of metal clay I've ordered that I look forward to trying out this week, and that, along with catching up on a couple of projects I needed to do, has been making me feel confident that I can do this again.  Even with the full time job and the fact that I have twice as many children now as I did when I started the shop, I still think I can spare the time to work on the jewelry shop again.  I've thought about it and this time of year especially is usually slow in orders, so it'll give me a chance to ease back into it (and if I have an influx of orders, it's never a bad thing).

Some of the things I'm going to do when I open the shop (my ETA at the moment is around mid-April)...

1.  Go through all the processing times, shipping information, pricing, etc.

I'd like to believe I can still get things ready to ship between 2-3 weeks but that isn't realistic now, and I don't want to add that unneeded extra stress.  I'm going to go through the listings I want to activate and make sure each one has an updated description with something that says 'read the shop banner for processing time' so I don't have to worry about changing each one in the future.  I want to make sure all my pricing makes sense for the time put into the piece, the product itself, and the supplies needed to create it.  Some prices may go up, some may go down.

2.   I'm only going to activate a limited amount of items to start.

Some of my more popular items will be back, for sure.  A lot of the less popular items won't be reappearing, and one or two of the most popular things won't be back just yet (one of my most popular, the men's fingerprint band, won't be back until I have enough supplies to make it a less challenging piece...with the techniques I was using before the holidays, it was the most stressful item in my shop and also the most popular).

3.  I'm going to try narrowing down my niche.  

Fixing up my categories is long overdue and I'll work on making the shop easier to navigate overall.  I feel like it was just a mix of several types of jewelry before.  When I reopen, I want to focus on meaningful pieces, like fingerprint jewelry, puzzle jewelry, and handwriting jewelry.

4.  I want to look into adding new pieces (ones that fit into said niche)

More keychains with white copprclay (depending on how hard it is to fire the new metal clay, which worries me).  I also want to figure out a way to make charms for the pandora bracelets.

I want to come up with another way to make jewelry with a lot of personalized meaning.  One of the only souvenirs I get when I travel is jewelry; it makes it easier for me to be reminded of the fun times I have, even if  it doesn't necessarily represent the place I'm visiting.  I know I purchased that item in that place and I remember most of the important parts of that the weather outside, how I felt on that particular day, who I was with, etc. But I haven't been able to narrow these thoughts down to anything I can represent in a piece of jewelry.

5. Add to the puzzle jewelry line. 


And that's about it.  So there are things I look forward to doing with the shop, I just want to take it slow and make sure I can offer quality items.  There is nothing worse in the whole world than having an unsatisfied customer.  I mean, obviously there are worse things in the world...but I guess when it comes to things that aren't earth shattering (something to do with family/friends...job loss...illnesses...things like that would be worse).

Anyway..I'm excited, but also very anxious.  I didn't know if I'd want to reopen after having been closed as long as I have been, but I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I really, really miss that creative part of my life.  My husband has been urging me to reopen often (the extra $ never hurt) but I wanted to wait to see when I was ready.  And I'm almost there.

Off to make a few charms.

Thursday, March 13, 2014


This baby girl has been a piggy.  She definitely weighs more than what I think an average 2 month old should weigh.  Our older daughter got comments like 'she's so small' and 'look how little she is'...this baby gets shocked and fast remarks of 'what a big baby' she is. And I can't help but agree.  She's a heavy kid.  I just did a little research and found that the average baby of 2 months (boy or girl) is 10 pounds.  This was after really loose research...and I know my peanut butter was already 11 pounds at at least 6 weeks old.  She turned 2 months this past Monday and I think she weighs at least 13 pounds now.  Probably more.  And nothing but breastmilk has given her that poundage.  She has never had a drop of formula.  I love that she's getting so big off of purely eating what I provide for her.  I felt that way about her sister, but her sister had formula for a little over a week of her life.  I don't regret that, and I think if I'd have known better, I still would have had to formula feed her in the beginning.  She had a terrible bruise on her head from a vacuum during the birth, and they say that bruises can cause jaundice.  Jaundice can cause drowsiness, and drowsiness prevents the desire to eat...and eating can help bring down the billirubin levels.  It's a bad cycle.  And with peanut butter, I pumped for a few days before the birth (to try to induce labor), which I think helped my milk come down easier, and she was still borderline jaundiced and almost needed to be kept another night for it.  She ate every 2 hours and her levels were still that high.  I wonder how any mother is able to get their baby to breastfeed enough to expel all that yucky billirubin filled marconium (I'm probably spelling all these words wrong) in enough time to get discharged after a day.

So there you of the quickest ways to stop a mother from breastfeeding...pressure her into formula feeding during the first 24 hours because of the billirubin levels.  We think, automatically, we must not be doing something right.  And I have no clue what the real right answer is.  Was I just the anomaly?  Do I just produce jaundice-prone babies?  Or is this possibly one of the reasons a lot of moms out there decide not to breastfeed?  I would have given up on it with my first if I weren't so obsessed with making it work.  So I'm so glad we got it to work, me and my first daughter.  If we didn't, I probably wouldn't have had it so easy with the second, and I'd be formula feeding for both.  The reasons why I am so glad they were/are both breastfed are so plentiful that I'll have to save that for another post, but I will say that it's my favorite part about this stage of my children's lives so far.  I love my toddler girl...but there's a connection I had with her while she was breastfeeding that I just won't ever get again.  A closeness I can't describe with words.

Like I said in an earlier post, you'll hear a lot about breastfeeding over the next year and change.

Time to go to bed, because peanut butter will surely be awake in about 3 hours to eat.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

A New Toy for Writing (Asus t100)

I have wanted a MacBook Air for over a year and a half...longer, even.  My main reason--I wanted a portable way to write using my favorite writing program, Scrivener.  Scrivener has been promising an iOS version for over a year now and though I still look forward to that, I stopped waiting patiently a long time ago.  Since the MacBook Air costs a bazillion dollars and I really couldn't justify my desire to stick with the Macintosh operating system just for a more portable computer (my husband recently purchased an iMac, so I'm getting my Apple fix with that)...I have been searching for a more affordable alternative.  I saw a commercial a few weeks ago with something that sounded close to the answer I was hoping for.  It was for an Asus 2-in-1 tablet/laptop that apparently provides the full version of Windows 8 (I didn't particularly like Windows 8 on the 11 inch Asus I already had, but I loved that computer and the fact that it has been reliable for over a year).  After a few days, I did a google search for more specifics on the product (I'm a sucker for good advertising).  I found what I am now writing this blog post on, and it is more fitting for what I want than the MacBook Air could ever be. 

This little guy was affordable (about a fourth of the cost of the MacBook Air), it separates from the keyboard (something the MacBook Air definitely doesn't do), it can handle Scrivener (the RT version of Windows would not, neither, yet, does the iPad), and it gives me the chance to have the convenience of a regular computer in a tiny little size (why were netbooks so unpopular?  I never got my hands on one, but I wanted to).

And I really, really love it.  I got the Scapple program from Literature and Latte and it works really well with the touchscreen (actually, I'm using the trial version...I'll buy the full when it's over though, it's a great way to brainstorm). 

I used the tablet at work today to try and open a couple of difficult pdfs (it didn't work) and it was so easy and natural, I can see me using it more often there and here. 

I wanted this post to be more fun, but it's so hard for me to put into relatable words why I want something like this. Probably because I have an unhealthy addiction to technology (as I sit here and have, from left to right in my view, an iPhone, iPad, this thing, 1TB external hard drive, Bluetooth keyboard, Bluetooth mouse, and a me, I started feeling ashamed at the second 'i' device), but maybe I crave all this stuff for my writing.  Well, the external drive and mouse have nothing to do with writing...nor does the iPhone...and the kindle is for my love for reading...but the iPad and this little guy...and the Bluetooth keyboard, those are all for writing.  Not that I have a boatload of confidence in the writing...more like it's a hardcore hobby, and I take my hobbies very seriously (have you seen my jewelry shop?).

So I hope to be back, writing blog posts more regularly.  And I want to start a new writing project...I've already started outlining it.  I had another I wanted to start first, but for whatever reason, this one took precedence.

My Earths Project queries haven't received a response yet but that's still better, in my opinion, than the form rejection letters.  And I need to go back and reedit it....which sucks...but I started it, and I have to get it right.  Maybe this is all for not, but I'm not the only one out there who has this kind of writing obsession...and even if it's always just a hobby, it's worth it to me. 

Guess I'll close up this long, drawn out post now.  I'm watching Breaking Bad while I type, so I'm distracted.  Plus, my 2 month old just finally fell asleep at 8:20, so I had to juggle doing this and watching that at the same time.  We're on the final season...a poor kid just got killed at the end of this episode.  Sucks.

Off to bed.  Sorry for droning on.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Peanut Butter has arrived (a few weeks ago)

Our second daughter was born on 1/10/14 weighing 8 lbs 4 oz and 21.5 inches.  She's an amazingly good baby and it's incredible how quickly the heart can double in capacity.  My two girls have made me the luckiest mommy in the world.  I can't express how grateful I am for both of them.  They're so different already.  Peanut butter has hair...dark hair, and so far it seems straight.  J was bald for her first year.  Peanut butter is relatively calm, J was constantly discontent.  I love everything about this baby and her big sister.  PB latched right away (it took J almost a week before she was exclusively breastfed).  PB has never had formula (YAY).

Right now the husband and J are on a "date" (at a hockey game).  He's been sending me photos and it looks like she's having a great time.

The editing still isn't done but I only have 46 pages left and I'm feeling consistently more confident about it.  I also have the next idea for a YA thought out pretty thoroughly.  I've written tidbits of an outline and the other night I came up with most of the plot (including the ending).  I want to start on it but I'm afraid of all the unfinished attempts I've had at writing full novels, so I want to wait until I know I can give it at least a little bit a day.

I've been telling my husband that I won't give up on this.  Never.  I've never not wanted it, so now that I've written a complete manuscript, edited it, written versions of a query (hardest part of this, so far), I know I can keep doing this for as long as I have the ability to see and type.  Until I've made it.  And I'll keep going after that (even harder).

Okay, PB is not happy...gotta go :)

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Happy New Year!

My baby is refusing to be born.  She's due on Monday, in her defense, but my daughter was born at 37 weeks so I already feel 3 weeks overdue.  I've tried all the self-inducing tricks, I ate two full pineapples, I'm taking walks constantly, I drink raspberry tea leaf all day, the doc did some membrane stripping on Monday (ouch), tried sex, I even pumped for 15 minutes today….nothin.  And when I say nothing, I mean barely any contractions and no other signs that this little girl wants to be anywhere but inside her warm and cozy uterus.  She needs to get moving soon or she's going to miss the visitors that drove all the way from PA to meet her.

I was swamped with jewelry orders last month, along with busy things going on at work and preparations for the holidays and this baby's arrival.  I've still been editing, but I didn't meet my goal of finishing this round of edits before the new year.  I got close, only 100 pages left, give or take a few, but I'm at the area of the book that needed the most improvement.  Some days I'll read the book and think 'this is exactly what I hoped it'd be' and other days I feel like it's awful.  It'll get done.  Right now I just feel like I'm in limbo…I keep expecting to go into labor, and when I don't, I over think how many things can go wrong, or how bad it's going to hurt, or how much sleep I'm not going to get in the next 6 months (wishful thinking).  Then my mind finds some peace and confidence for a minute or two, then she still doesn't come and it all starts again.  I wonder what stage I'll be at when I actually go into labor. If I ever go into labor.

Did I mention we call her Peanut Butter?  As goofy as it sounds, I'll probably start calling the two of them PB & J once she's here.

Today we took J and grandparents to the park.

Now I'm going to get ready to go grocery shopping and walk around a track (maybe hop a bit) to try and coax PB out while the husband goes to the gym.

I can't wait to be able to get real exercise again.  I miss going for runs (ones where my legs don't feel like they're carrying 50 lb weights) and feeling active.  I'm so sluggish and off balance.  

Ughh….any day now, please.