Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Edited :)

Went from page 177 to page 192. FIFTEEN PAGES. Feeling pretty darn good about it :)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Hm...Guess I need to be blogging more.

I edited a couple of days ago on my iPad for the first time since before getting pregnant.  It went perfectly well and I got a few pages done (the pages now more closely resemble real book-length pages because I compressed this file differently when I exported it from Scrivener into a PDF).  So since I edited later at night, I didn't write a post about it.  Yesterday, since I was already negligent on the blog for a day, I didn't edit at all.  So here I am, conceding that posting about what I'm editing every day has been helping me keep up with it.  I haven't edited since two nights ago, but I plan to today and I'll update when I do.  I also really need to put the next journal entry in here soon, but I'm not sure if I want to continue with that after this journal, and since I'm nearing the end of it, I'm mulling it over (I have about 14 journals written after that first one).  If I continue after this first, most innocent of journals, I think I might censor whole journal entries for my family/friends/and own sanity. 

So as far as editing goes...I started the new PDF at page 172 and stopped at 177...making the newest edits:

pg 177 of 368

Almost halfway done.  And before I was editing, I had written a whole new version to a later chapter, so I'm excited to read that again.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Today was an excellent day

I had a long list of things I wanted to do today and I always feel incredible when I accomplish everything. Well, I didn't finish all the things I aspired to do this morning but when I wrote the list, I knew in the back of my mind that a few things might not get done. In the end, only one thing didn't happen.

I cleaned the toilets, did the laundry, went to the gym and ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes, lifted for a bit, then swam (very slowly) for an hour and enjoyed the sun and desert dry weather. This evening, I made up five different samples of possible charms for a custom order I have in the works, all of which turned out exactly as I'd pictured. This morning, I finished the edits up to where I left off on the PDF in my manuscript so I compressed the file again and will pick up from there on the iPad.

I'm finishing up the laundry tonight but right now I'm just vegging on the couch and watching a crappy movie.

I love days like this, where everything just comes together and I get done what I want to do.

Unfortunately, tomorrow is Monday. We have a big event at work coming up in 2 weeks so there's a lot of tension/stress in the office. I'm gonna have to start meditating again Bc the pregnancy hormones aren't reacting well with the stress.

Ugh, this post sounds so positive and cheerful, not like my normal attitude. Odd how that actually annoys me. I need to post another journal entry soon...

And I'm at:

Pg 73 of 155 but the PDF I just compressed is going to have different pages Bc the font/material was different.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Edited a lot

I didn't really have a surge of inspiration tonight but I did force myself to do the things I should have done last night.  I posted two new rings to my jewelry shop.  One of them is two fingerprints forming a heart on a ring and the other is an infinity symbol ring.

Infinity
 
Two Fingerprints Form a Heart
 
So I was happy to have gotten them listed. 

I also edited more than normal.  I did a chapter and started the next chapter (worked as far as a page into the next chapter).  The reason for my overachieving was because I saw that I only have two more chapters (now one chapter and about 2/3rds of another chapter) before I catch up with where I made notes on my PDF version.  So when I catch up, I can recompress the manuscript with all the updated edits and start from there on my iPad again with a stylus and my Goodreader app.  I'm just looking forward to the change.  It has felt good to have a mixing up of editing methods.  Keeps me looking forward to shorter term goals instead of just the overall goal.

So I'm at...
Page 65 of 155

Yay...Getting this thing polished up...FINALLY.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Crap

Didn't edit at all today (I did about a sentence but I won't count that). I started getting a headache on the way home from work and it has just gotten worse since, so I also wanted to do some jewelry stuff tonight and wasn't motivated enough for that either. Hopefully a night off will inspire overachieving tomorrow.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Another Chapter

Only 4 pages for this one.  So I'm at:

60 of 155

Only 3 chapters left before I've caught up on typing out my edits from the pdf.  I'll create a new pdf with the edits because I know I changed around a later chapter that isn't updated on this pdf, then I'll start reading through and writing specific edits on the pdf again.  It'll be nice to have a change and have the chance to use the iPad for this project again for a bit.  I might read through the rest of the manuscript and make all the notes and edits before I go back to typing them out on Scrivener again. 

Almost halfway done :)

Monday, July 22, 2013

Woohoo, a whole chapter!

So I'm pretty psyched about how well this is going.  Knowing I need to report the amount of pages I've edited each day keeps it in the back of my mind.  So when I have a free minute or two, I try and dedicate it to editing.  Not only that, but now when I'm reading a book or listening to an audiobook, I'm constantly thinking about my own manuscript and feeling a desire to quit reading and continue editing.  It's like that feeling that drives you to finish reading a book, but my mind is putting that desire toward my own manuscript.  What an awesome way to feel motivated.  Like it isn't a chore, but an actual hobby and something to feel proud of/excited about. 

Anyway, today I edited FIVE pages.  A whole chapter (which is about 10 book sized pages...like I've said before, the pdf I'm editing from fits a lot more words per page than a printed book would).  So I'm at:

56 of 155

And I think I stopped the handwritten edits around Chapter 16 or 17, so I'm only about 5 chapters away from catching up with myself (I made edits and sometimes they're easy 'missing comma' type edits, and other times they're more time consuming and general 'fix' type edits, which take way more time).  Once I catch up with myself, I need to:

  • Compress the whole file again with the edits from Scrivener into a new PDF. 
  • Upload that PDF back to Goodreader.
  • Start reading/editing the actual manuscript again.
  • Send that back to Scrivener and open the PDF side by side with the actual manuscript to type out the edits.
  • Finish this whole round of edits (I can't wait).
  • Make a kindle file of this draft of the book.
  • Reread the whole book from start to finish while taking just general overall notes. 
  • Reedit (hopefully with much less tedious fixes).

That is, unless Scrivener comes out with an iPad version of their program before I catch up with myself.  I can't wait until that day comes!  No more converting to PDF, editing, then putting files side by side...just make the edits directly to the manuscript on my iPad...the convenience factor there makes my mouth water.

I'm feeling good about this though! 

And I've started working on ideas for a new YA Dystopian (I don't care if publishers don't want dystopian right now...it's such a cool theory to consider...especially with all the changes technology brings to cultures...imagining what our future is going to look like is fun).  I'm using the Index Card app for that, and I'm really enjoying it.  It also syncs with Scrivener (but only through the Mac version of Scrivener, which is a bummer, because I'm using my PC far more often lately).  I have the app on both my iPhone and my iPad and, annoyingly enough, the files don't automatically sync between the apps.  If I upload them to Dropbox, I can then make sure the files stay constant between both, but I have to do that manually, and it's frustrating.  So I am mostly just using this app on my iPhone and jotting down ideas when I think of them.

I guess that's enough for this blog post...I made a short story long.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Edited to the End of a Chapter

I'm so proud of myself for tonight's efforts.  I edited a page earlier in the afternoon and got interrupted by my husband when he suggested we watch an episode of Dexter during J's nap.  We've been watching the series On Demand on DirecTV and we had 3 episodes left of the second season to watch today.  I've been way more obsessed with the show than him, so I jumped on the chance to watch the episode and skip out on the editing.  Then we watched the last two episodes earlier tonight and not only did I take a break between to walk the dog, but when we finished the season, I edited THREE pages in addition to the one I had done earlier today.  So that brings me to...

51 of 155

Looking forward to Season 3 of Dexter...

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Journal and Editing Update

8/21/96

Diary, today I woke up to rain!  I hope I don't tomorrow! (We're going to Hershey!).  I haven't ran for 2 days and I can't tomorrow or the next day!  At least I'll get exercise from swimming and walking.
   Did you ever think rain comes from something other than precipitation?  Maybe it comes from God.  He might be crying.  I hope he's not sad.  I wonder why he's crying over us and not some other country?  one of the houses in our country must have done something wrong. 
                           Millie
Diary, I went to the open house today.  It sucked.  Actually, it wasn't that bad but it was a waste of time!  Guess what my parents said we're not going tomorrow!  Just kiddin :D!  Gotta go!
         
                          Millie

 
This isn't something I talk about much or tell too many people (especially not religious people).  I'm atheist.  I have been since sometime in high school and I was for longer than I admitted to myself.  Obviously, I wasn't when I was 13.  When I was around that age, I was very religious.  I would pray every time I heard a fire engine or an ambulance.  I prayed for my sister constantly.  I didn't do any bible reading or much church attending, but I believed with my whole heart.  Then, somewhere along the way, I started to think more about everything in a less faithful and more logical way.  I'm not saying that what I believe is undoubtedly true, but I can't see how there truly is a God.  I don't even believe in a higher power.  I'm straight out atheist.  And unless someone reads this blog post or chats about religion with me while I'm drinking or vulnerable, you probably wouldn't know that.  It's something I consider to be personal.  And there's a very good chance that I'll someday edit this post to delete this paragraph, but for right now, I figured I'd fess up.  I censored enough from the journal so far, I don't want to censor how I feel about these 17 year old entries.  I still worry for people and hope for things, but I don't pray.  My worrying and hoping feels the same.

Today, I edited 2 pages.  I finished Chapter 9, which is exciting because I'm in the double digit chapters now :)

So...

Page 47 of 155.

Hope you're having a lovely Saturday.


Friday, July 19, 2013

I edited TWO pages :)

I did the editing before I went to work, which is ideal if I have the time for it. I wanted to do more all day but even though I didn't, I feel okay with it.
So...
45 of 155
And we're about to get a crazy thunderstorm. It's coming from the northeast (yes, moving southwest, which is bizarre in my opinion):

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Edited a Page

I edited one page this evening.  So I'm on...

Page 43 out of 155

I swear, sometimes I do a whole chapter in a day.  Obviously, that's not typical, but even if I only do a page a day (ish) I'll be finished in a few months.  Ughh...that doesn't sound ideal at all, ha.  Oh well...it has to be done.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

I Didn't Edit At All Today

I find myself comparing who I am today with who I was in that journal from 17 years ago. My sister once suggested my parents watch the show 'The Daily Show'. I have since come to love the show and I'm watching an episode tonight, one of the ones with John Oliver hosting, and I'm feeling proud of myself for really taking a personal interest in the things this show discusses (pretty liberal stuff...I'm on board, don't get me wrong)...but is it all me? Or is it who I've become because of my sister's influence on my life? I wish I could feel less dependent on who I want to see myself as and just feel comfortable with who I am. There are quite a few things I do for me because something within me drives them...like making jewelry...the writing comes from my mother but the genre is my own interest.

Ugh, today was the worst btw. I'm having the worst time figuring out whether the 18 week ultrasound is covered by my insurance. I spent over 6 hours today dealing with it and I still feel unsure about the final answer. Apparently it's covered, but then I found a general PDF online making me think it still isn't actually covered. I don't wanna call out my insurance company or doctors so Ill leave it at that, but for whatever reason, I can't help but burst into uncontrollable tears whenever I have to deal with this. So hopefully all goes well and I get to see this baby in a few weeks.

Hasta maƱana...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

One Page

Did one page of my PDF version of the manuscript.  It's better than nothing! And I suspect that's what I would have done if I hadn't written today's blog post.

So to keep extra better track:

I'm up to page 42 of 155 (the whole thing is actually over 80,000 words, but the PDF I opened and edited in Goodreader has very large pages...so as far as a book goes, it'd be around 290 pages).

Where'd You Go, Motivation?

I listened to the audiobook of 'Where'd you go, Bernadette?' on Audible a few months ago and it was one of those ones that keeps popping up out of my subconscious every few days.  I liked it a lot, even though while I was listening to it I had mixed feelings.  I attribute that now to the fact that I was in the worst stage of my First Trimester then.  I was exhausted and nauseous most of the time and I suspect I took it out on my opinion of the book.  A friend of mine is listening to it now and I'm just happy I got someone to listen to an audiobook.  I don't want to be the only one in the world to think audiobooks (especially when paired with a smart phone) are freakin awesome.  More on that some other time....

So my motivation for editing has started to trickle to a slow stream.  And not the steady calm after a fast area of rapids on a river (like it was a week or two ago) but more like the drying up part of a stream that happens during a drought.  I'm trying to think of ways to increase precipitation, but I'm worried all it'll take is another rejection to dry up completely.  Hm...no more water metaphors...I think I might start needing to make myself accountable again on my progress.  Maybe track it in the app I used to track my writing with on my phone.  Then also keep daily updates on my progress here on this blog?  Like I had intended to do back when I started this blog and was writing an older version of this same manuscript?  Obviously, that didn't go so well....I kept track here for about 2 weeks (if that), then avoided the blog like I avoided the plague and my writing. 

But as long as I can keep doing a page or two of editing a day, I can expect to actually finish the damn thing...it's not even that daunting, just time consuming.  And I've worked this hard...gotten this far with it...why would I let it fall by the wayside now?  I'll tell you what a little voice inside my head is saying in response to that though...it's saying "because your manuscript is crap"..."because you can never hope to get published"..."because look at all the thousands upon thousands of people in this country trying to do exactly what you're doing...what makes you think you'll be successful??".

Guess I also need to work on ways to shut that voice up...

Monday, July 15, 2013

Journal from 8/19/96 and Thoughts

8/19/96
 
"A new morning, a good Monday,
time to start out a different way
Start the mornig out with a run
In not many ours lunch will be here
And not many more Tue will be too
 
in 9 days school will begin
 
 
The weather for today is high of 84!  That's pretty good compared to the weather so far.  All its been is rain!  I hope it doesn't rain on Thur because that's when we're going to Hershey Park.  I  hope we go even if it rains!  I'll see you tonight but for now so long!
                                    Millie
 
guess what, my chameleon died a few days ago!  And then my Uncle **** went into the hospital today and Frankie might have died on my show "Another World" (she was one of my favorite people!)
 
                                   Millie
 
Life is so precious
It's more every day
don't spend it wasting away.
 
I finished, or actually it has 2 sequals, a book called The Strange Power  I didn't get the other 2 yet but I will tomorrow.  I'm starting to get a headache.  I hope its not as bad as the one I had the other day, I could barely move it was so bad!
    My mom is in here reading write now so I can't talk out loud.
    I'm excited for school to start!
   I cleaned my room really good!  Mostly because my chameleon died, not emotionally but ever time I used to clean my room I'd have to do something for my chameleon.
   I'm in my sisters room right now and she's writing to Joseph (her boyfriend!)  I would be happy for her if they got married but my sister says she will never be married.  I doubt that!
   My father still hasn't finished the tree house with me!  My schedule for the week is filling pretty fast too!
                                  Millie
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sorry I haven't been around for a few days.  I have no good excuse. 
 
As far as this entry goes...I love the part about my sister saying she'll never get married...she's been married to the person she was writing to while I was in her room that night for almost 12 years and they have two children.  I hope she doesn't make me take these out of here :/  but I'd definitely obey her wishes (so just let me know, sis).
 
I love finding parts of my old journals that either contradict something that is true today or had some big impact on it (like the fact that I kept trying to write those awful quotes...at least I was trying...I was only 13 for crying out loud).  Also...what does it say about me that I knew how to spell 'Chameleon' but not the word HOURS?  Or was it just a typo?  It was early in the morning after some exercise...although that should have given me better reason to spell more accurately (according to the book Spark, anyway).

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Jewelry and Writing

I got my first rejection from this new batch yesterday.  That was a bummer.  I need to just stay positive though.  It was a nice rejection at least (not at all personal, but not a form letter either).
After that, I spent most of the evening making a charm I have to get in the mail today.  I wanted to write a quick bit about what it entailed because if anyone needs help making a fingerprint stamp using the Imagepac Stampmaking Kit (or Teresa Collins stampmaking kit), they might find it useful.  If I were still searching for help, I'd have appreciated this blog post a lot.




First off, I took the original fingerprint, sharpened it, and inverted it (all using my iPhone and a free Photo Editor app):




Then I printed it on the clear paper you buy from whoever supplies your stampmaking kit stuff (I go with Metal Clay Supply because they have the best prices I've found).
Next comes the tricky part (that I haven't seen a helpful online post about ANYWHERE)...
I cut it down to size and put it in the little magnetic glass thing that comes with the stampmaking kit, then add the gel pack.  At this point, I'm working really fast because the gel packs get messed up if they're exposed to light for very long.  I follow the instructions provided in the kit all the way up until the times the gel pack is in the fluorescent lights.  This is where I've had a lot of trial and error come into play.  The times I've found that work the best for making a defined fingerprint stamp:

16 seconds on the first side 


(I know, it's about 6 seconds longer than the suggested time...10 seconds longer than some suggested times!)


52 seconds on the second side


(such a random time, but I've used these two times for 4 or 5 stamps thus far without fail)

 

So if you're like me, and wasting gel pack after gel pack, try these times.  They just might work for you!!


Sorry for any of you who read this blog and don't make jewelry (and if you DO make jewelry, you should totally look into working with Precious Metal Clay...it's freakin awesome)


 

This is the final product by the way...


 
 


Monday, July 8, 2013

Inspiring Quotes about Writing

I've always liked this one:

First get it written, then get it right.
(not sure who wrote it)

And

Writing is like driving at night in the fog.  You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.
-E.L. Doctorow

And since I'm in the type of mood that can use a motivational pick-me-up, I searched around for more...the following are the ones I like.

If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn’t matter a damn how you write.
- Somerset Maugham


I need to tattoo this one to the back of my hand right now:

It is perfectly okay to write garbage—as long as you edit brilliantly.
- C. J. Cherryh


Haha, I like this one because it goes along with what I always say about published writers...there are some really crappy books out there still getting really famous.  So I need to just keep my chin up and remain persistent...if this is what I want to do, there's nothing stopping me but me:

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
- Robert Benchley


I think I'll end with this one, since it feels like my life right now:

Half my life is an act of revision.
- John Irving


And my all time favorite quote, which has nothing to do with writing:

If there were a mile-high mountain made of granite and once every 10,000 years a bird flew past and brushed it with a feather, by the time the mountain eroded away, only a fraction of a second would have past in the context of eternity.
-Lois Duncan (which I just now learned by googling the quote)

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Query and Baseball

I sent my newly revised query letter yesterday and after rereading it once or twice (okay, it was like 4 or 5 times) I feel REALLY confident about it.  I'm proud of the query, I feel like it's interesting enough, it's in my voice, it's written the way I feel about the overall book, and it conveys the story the way I want it to.  This is exciting because it means that other than continuing to edit the rest of the manuscript, I can rest easy and just keep requerying that email to various agents after I get the rejections.  These agents I've been querying require that I attach the synopsis (which is also just a page and a half of the general conflicts and main events in the book, and I feel okay about that) and the first 2-5 chapters.  And after reading the first two chapters that I sent yesterday, I feel really good and really confident about my chances of getting an agent with this round of querying.  I know, it's still a freakin long shot, but I've read a whole lot of successful queries and I think that sometimes one that might work for one agent at one specific time might then not even work for that same agent at a different time.  As long as there's nothing structurally wrong and the grammar isn't awful, it really just feels like luck.  And other than a misspelling of 'pierogies' in the fifth paragraph of the prologue, I didn't see any obvious errors (hopefully I'm not just missing ones because I'm ignorant of proper grammar, but that's extremely likely).  And in my defense of pierogies....(sorry Chocci Marie and Dad)...the computer and Scrivener all think that it's spelled pirogies, which might be a different word all together, but I went with it and didn't double check myself online.  Damn it.  Anyway...if whoever is reading the query is in the right mood and mind for it, they might love it and pass it on to the agent, who might feel similarly.  I just have to get the manuscript up to par.

Me and the husband are taking J to a baseball game today.  We're getting lunch at a Mexican place in northern Phoenix that he saw got great reviews on Yelp.  We're hoping we can keep her awake until after the afternoon events and have her take a late nap at home, but I'm pretty sure she'll either be super cranky at the game, or will pass out on the car ride home (meaning a 20 minute nap, compared to her 2-3 hour regular nap).  Or both.  We'll see.  It can't hurt to get my hopes up and expect a fun afternoon, right?

:/ I probably just jinxed myself.

Friday, July 5, 2013

My Thoughts on Writing a Query Letter

It's a freakin roller coaster of emotion.  An hour ago, I was thinking about writing a blog post about how doubtful I am now about my book and the whole idea of my book.  All because I was getting more bad feedback on my revised query letter on Agent Query Connect (that site is SO helpful for this).  Then, I rewrote the revision again and I feel so much better.  The newest revision, in my opinion, is way more fitting of my actual vision of the book.

Here's my newest revision:

Dear Agent (or, more likely, agent's unpaid intern),


Seventeen-year-old Melanie Foster has never had a reason not to trust her parents. Not until they’re kidnapped and she finds out that they’ve been hiding something from her all her life.

After being taken to safety, Melanie learns several extremely shocking pieces of information. First, her parents are scientists that discovered a new planet capable of sustaining human life. Second, they’ve been hiding from people who want this information bad enough to kill for it.  Third, after years of searching, these people have found and kidnapped her parents. And finally, humans didn’t originate on this Earth, and neither did her parents.

Struggling to accept the fact that her Earth is really the Third Earth discovered and populated by humans in a process known as the Earths Project, Melanie focuses on the only thing that’s keeping her sane-finding and saving her parents.

But in order to do that, Melanie must travel to the dangerous and unstable Second Earth, a planet that seceded from the Earths Project, wasted their natural resources, and bred an entire population of deceitful liars. With spies close enough to win over Melanie’s heart then break it in half, she learns the hard way that it’s impossible to know who she can trust to help her along the way.

Earths Project:  Book One, First Earth is the first in a series of YA Adventure/Sci-Fi novels and is complete at 82,000 words.  

Thank you for your consideration. 

so  I don't even have any feedback yet, which is exactly why I'm in such a better mood.  I'm ignorantly enjoying the fact that I really like this query.  I can imagine potential agents also liking it.  Loving it, in fact, enough to request my full manuscript.

BUT...this is a short-lived emotion on the roller coaster ride.  In about a day, when I get one or two people responding to my query, giving me advice, pointing out parts of the query that just simply don't make sense or are way too vague and not mentioning once that they think the premise sounds good and that it'll make for an interesting book (which most other query editing posts get..so that might be the most disheartening part of this whole thing), I'll be on the slow uphill anxiety-driven part of the coaster again.

It's rough, I'm not gonna lie, but it makes me feel more legit when I read all about writing query letters and discover that I'm not the only one who thinks this is the most grueling part of the whole process.  It's harder than writing the book...harder even than editing the damn thing (which is a real bitch of a process in itself).  Not because it's difficult to write the pitch, but because I'm so familiar with my story and the characters that I can hardly think straight when I'm rereading my small 250 word query for the 30th time.  And this is it...the front of the line when it comes to showing an agent I have something worth reading.  So if I can't get this SPOT ON...I'm doomed.

It's definitely daunting.

So, I guess I'll go reread it again for the 31st time.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Just a journal entry (Oh, and Happy 4th of July!)

8/10/96
Diary, I vow never to talk again about boys unless there my boyfriends!

I hope I have time to write in you again today but now I gotta go.

                Millie

8/18/86
Diary,  I'm sorry I haven't been writing for a while, I have a very inteligent sister, she just told me one of her quotes!  It was very profesional.  Today she gave me a very great compliment!  She told me that when one of her friends asked her who she would take on a trip across country, her answer was me!  I went to see "Emma" today and it was great!  It was just like Clueless. 

Let me try to make some quotes. 
            I can't think of any!

I would rather be an author!  So far I wrote a story called "The Story Writer,"  would you read it?  It's only 11 pgs.

I really look up to my sister!  She writes quots into her journal so since I don't like them I'll write poems:

"Every day the world matures
And everyday it stops growing
The killing, the agony will go
away and the world will mature"
                  Millie Komski

Do you like it?  Every time I think of one! OR here of one.  When I get to be 18 or 17 I'll try to be 1st in my class.  And now I'll start reading more.  I think our world should grow up!

"If we should be called 
the United States of 
America, then why can't we
be the United Countries of 
the Earth."
                 Millie Komski

Yah no what I'm glad I have a sister!  When I was 12 I would read about girls always wanting a sister to talk to and I never thought of it being important till now!

I feel ashamed of writing about David before.

I wonder what I'm talented at?  My mom says I should be a fashion designer but I'm having my douts.  What do you think I should be?  I would like to be something unusual like an archiolegist or an author but if I have the talent of being a fashion designer I guess I'll do that.  This is what I do:

(UGLY DRESS HERE)                   or                         (UGLIER OUTFIT HERE)

What do you think?  I personally would rather be an archiologist or an artist.


                                                                     (TERRIFYING DRAWING OF A FACE HERE)<--You  
                                                                                                            wouldn't believe how bad that is!

I can draw cartoons a lot better than that with cartoons!
                                 Millie

"To expirience life is a greater wonder then most things!"
                                    Millie Komski (I think)

"Morning, day, night go buy so quickly, so make sure they last because every one is priceless!"
                                    Millie Komski






Ahh...just when you think you're maturing a little, an entry like this comes along.  To give my younger self a little bit of credit, at least I moved on from writing about a ridiculous crush in every other sentence.  But I feel bad for my sister for pulling her into all the rambling crap I talk about in this long entry.  To experience life is a greater wonder then most things!  REALLY???  Than MOST things?  I guess there was one part of this entry that I really loved... when I wrote that I would rather be an author.  I don't remember wanting to be an author at that age!  I remember writing stories, but as an adult, I thought I remembered that always being just for fun, not because I wanted to grow up to be an author someday.  So that makes me, as an adult, feel a little less silly about having spent HOURS and hours and hours pursuing this dream.  I can say now...it's something I've always wanted to do.

Once again, to my dear sister, I truly hope you don't read this blog post.  And if you do...I hope you don't sue me for posting all of this....because of all the people I've written about so far, my family is a group that won't really have the chance to stay anonymous if someone is willing to make an effort on finding their identities.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Agent Query Connect, and No Journal Again Today

I posted my query on Agent Query Connect hoping to get some good advice on what I need to do to sharpen it up and my goodness, it's disheartening.  I've only even had two people critique it so far but I just feel smaller and smaller after each one.  I know, I know...critiques are not to be taken personally, but that's like saying I don't take my writing personally...and why the heck would I be writing it if I didn't feel a personal connection to it?  So no, I'm not crying or shutting up shop...I'm just feeling more and more mindful of how much of an amateur I really am.  And even that is super disheartening.  I've been writing in journals since I was 13 (obviously).  I've been starting novels since I was about 18 (just not finishing them...the Earths Project that exists today is the third version...it's the only full book I've actually completed).  But until January of this year, I've never let anyone read my writing.  I guess that isn't true, I blog...I've let people read parts of my journals...I've written papers in college, etc.  But January was the first time I've ever seriously urged people to critique my fiction.  Jesus, it's rough.  I imagine the three that read this book having conversations with their spouses or friends where they laugh at me behind my back and compare me to those terrible singers on American Idol who don't have a clue how horrible they are.

Oh please....don't let me be that awful.

Eh....I guess if I am, I still have a chance.  Like I've said before, there are really awful books out there making tons of money and gaining tons of fans.  But when I reread chapters I've edited and polished until they shine in my eyes, I don't feel awful.  I feel hopeful.  I guess that's what's still driving me to do this.

Here's the latest revision of my query...go critique it if you're a member of AgentQuery...

Melanie Foster is a 17-year-old with few friends, a crush on the new boy in school, and trouble deciding what she should do with her life after high school.  For Melanie, life is as ordinary as the next person's, until her parents are kidnapped and she finds out she’s from another planet. Always expecting little green men, Melanie is surprised to discover that extraterrestrials are actually just more humans and that the planet she grew up on is the Third Earth discovered and populated by the human race in a process known as the Earths Project.


Trying desperately to find and save her parents, Melanie is sent on a mission to the dangerous and unstable Second Earth. After its violent secession from the Earths Project, the Second Earth wasted their remaining resources, bred a population of deceitful liars, and is now plotting to steal a newly-discovered Seventh Earth by kidnapping the scientists who discovered it, Melanie’s parents. Posing an even bigger problem, Melanie discovers that her Third Earth is out of their own natural resources and will need the new Earth in order to survive.

If she can successfully complete her mission and help a group of allies known as the Visionists start a revolution on the Second Earth, Melanie will not only save her parents, but also the only world she has ever known.

Earths Project: Book One, First Earth is a YA Adventure/Sci-Fi complete at 82,000 words. Thank you very much for your consideration.



Tuesday, July 2, 2013

I am in a terrible mood, the word literally, and some curse words

This is one of those days where I'm angry about everything.  A series of events out of my control have made me go from lighthearted and optimistic to moody and depressed.  It's trickling into everything.  I have lost all confidence in my writing.  I have lost all motivation to get anything accomplished.  And I'm only writing a tiny bit in this blog post because it has become habit.

My poor dog is sick and had an enormous and disgusting accident in our office...which is carpeted...so while I was cleaning up his shit, I was thinking "the term 'what a shitty day' must have originated from somebody who was literally cleaning shit all day'.

And I hate the word 'literally' because I'm a serial user of this word and I know that 99% of the time, I'm using it wrong.  And it's becoming one of those words that people are targeting as being commonly misused.  It's only a matter of time before someone calls me out on it.  I don't care though, because that's the kind of mood I'm in.  Guess what people...I'm using it sarcastically.  Even if I'm not technically allowed to, so what.  Deal with it.  I LITERALLY use the word all the time.  And I literally can't stop.  And knowing I'm using it wrong makes me literally use it more.

So go F yourself world.  For judging my use of the word literally and for making my dog shit all over the carpet.  I'm vowing to be unproductive for the rest of the evening.  Good night.

Monday, July 1, 2013

8/9/96 and Jewelry


8/9/96
Diary, This is what happened today.  I didn't get to run cause it rained!  I still haven't gotten a letter from Kathy!!!  **************  I learned a new card trick, but it screwed up until I did it my way.  And I got all this feelings that my family loves my sister more than me!  I still think its true.
 
Diary do you think I'm dumb to have those feelings?
 
       Gotta go, sorry I didn't write a lot.
 
                                      Millie
 

I'm pretty surprised at how censored I made myself back then when I was feeling emotional.  I had absolutely no problem writing about my ridiculous fantasized crushes, but when it came to being upset that my friends were making fun of me or my family made me feel sad, I just glossed over the info.  And I don't remember being the type to bottle up my feelings like that as a kid.  I'm certainly not that type today...if I'm upset about something, I cry.  I cry a lot.  I'm surprised I was so interested in sounding like someone I wasn't.  What a weird form of therapy this is becoming for me.  It's really making me reevaluate why I am who I am today.


As far as jewelry goes, I listed a new item last week that I was really excited about.  I was excited because it was a mostly original idea (I'll explain more later) and the 'sample' one I made was a gift for a friend who recently got married.  It was sent the Monday before her wedding but unfortunately, it didn't make it to her in time for the ceremony.  I was so sad my gift turned out to be so useless...


The reason I say it was mostly original was because I wanted to make the charm itself...had the design already ready with the date and the Swarovski crystal all added in my mind's eye...but I didn't know what to do with the charm.  So I looked around online and saw suggestions of adding it with a bow to the bouquet for the wedding day, so it's not flashy or obvious, but it's still 'with' the bride.  Then, when she transfers it to a chain after the wedding day, she can always have a reminder of such a great moment in her life.

So, I'm sorry, good friend of mine in PA...I should have used a faster shipping method. 
:'(

She has it now, and says she loves it.  She's one of the people who helped inspire a few different popular items I sell in my shop...like the fingerprint heart charm...the one photographed was the one I made from the prints of her and her boyfriend (now husband :)

I'm glad it did end up getting to her.  And she saw a photo of this charm on her wedding day (through a text I sent), so in her mind, she can remember it from that day, I guess?