Oh my goodness...

It's 3:33 and 3 is my favorite number, so let me just take a second to make a few wishes.

Okay...so nothing too interesting going on the past couple of days.  Yesterday, I took the toddler to the gym so I could do some Yoga and, with 15 minutes left in class, the fire alarm started going off.  Now this is the Palm Valley Lifetime Fitness gym so at 6:45 on a Tuesday night, the place is PACKED.  Even the daycare was overwhelmed with kids, so I asked them to give my daughter a green sticker to sort of keep her in a more supervised area (she's almost 3 and with the high energy and brave attitude, I didn't want her going off and getting herself into trouble).  So, this was basically my first moment of true fear as a parent.  I'm upstairs in this back room doing a nice quiet yoga session with about a dozen other people when suddenly I'm being taken down a set of stairs in a back maintenance area wondering which side of the building I am on and how I'm going to get back in to find my daughter among the crowd of other children.  Eventually, I find the outside play area and run to the door that leads into the gym right outside the doors to the daycare area.  Lines of children are funneling out, hand-in-hand.  About 30 leave the daycare when I finally see mine, first in the line of a dozen other kids, holding hands..she looks like such a brave little leader and I'm filled with relief and pride.  I make sure with the daycare supervisors that it's okay for us to leave...because I'm thinking, if that were my job, I'd be terrified.  How on Earth are they going to keep track of all these kids?  How easy could it be for some asshole creeper to just take a random kid, pretend they're the parent, and lead them to their car?  Hopefully all went well with that fiasco...I have no clue...but I'm very thankful to have found my daughter and gotten her home safely.

So, that's two weeks in a row of only 45 minutes worth of the yoga class.  It's Yin/Restorative, so I love it because it's relaxing and feels like an amazing stretch/massage for the body.  Last week, I thought it started at 6:30 so I got there 15 minutes after its real start time, thinking I was going to be early.  There better not be a fire alarm tomorrow night...I have a pedicure in the gym's spa at 6 o'clock.

I'm just stalling....this journal entry is the MOST EMBARRASSING one to date.  I know it's going to just get more and more difficult to include full journal entries, but this one is rough.  (I'm really enjoying this project though...I hope people out there reading this don't think I'm a complete crazy person for doing this...I know there's about ten of you visiting this page on an almost daily basis...so to those 10 of you, please don't judge me too harshly).

8/6/96

Sorry I didn't write more yesterday.  I was kinda busy, first Rose came over and we went to the Slocum Deli.  I got flying saucers!  Oh yah and green things.  I love (arrow to flying saucers)!  The are my all time favorite candy!!!  I also did something else yesterday.  I went ***** I saw David a little but that was enough to dream about him! ******** He's nice but he's also spoiled rude and vain!  That's enough to turn me away (referring to a friend of David's)

Diary, I heard the footsteps last night!!! I didn't look out my window, I was about to but they disappeared!!! It was around 10:30 11:00!! I'm going to definatly listen tonight

Diary I wish I had P.K. abilities but unfortunately I don't.  Diary, you might find this rediculous but I tried to transport myself to David's room last night!  Of course it didn't work, but I'm glad it didn't.  How would I get out!

Diary I just had the wierdest imagination!  I just imagined ****************************************************** ****************************************************** ******************************************************
And that's all! (thank god) Diary do you think I'm obsessed?

                        Millie

Oh holy jesus.

So just suffice it to say that those stars were the most embarrassing of this entry.  I was 13 years old.  You may think this type of random crazy talk is forgivable at that age but I definitely do not agree.  I was THIRTEEN.  In some cultures, I'd be having kids and being completely mature at that age.  And yes, I'm thankful that I had the privilege and the fortune to have the ability to be a kid at that age...but I would have been more proud of myself if I had used my life for more good.  Tried to learn a good skill (like piano, or put my efforts toward something like science)...but no...I was ridiculously immature and being ridiculous with my time.

Ughhh....okay.....nothing good is coming of me bashing my former self.  This was almost 20 years ago (man, that makes me feel old).

Anyway...I also wanted to add that I still love eating flying saucers.  They're these wafers that are spherical and have a hollow inside with tiny hard candies inside.  Yum!

It's back...hopefully it sticks around.

I don't know if it's because I was finally invited back for the second interview of that job I interviewed for a few weeks ago, or because I had such a ridiculously lazy weekend, but I'm feeling much more motivated again.  I got up (super early with the toddler who can't seem to sleep past 6:30 in her new big-girl toddler bed), made coffee (after laying on the couch for cartoon hour), cleaned up, put a load of laundry in, emptied the dishwasher, did some potty training (we'll get there), worked on some jewelry, then at 10 AM I threw on workout clothes and we went to the gym (they have a fun daycare there).  I did the stair-climbing machine for 20 minutes (actual stairs that revolve and you walk up...it's the most hardcore I can get aside from going for a run), chatted with a friend, then did an hour of Hatha Yoga.

Back home, we had lunch, I finished a ring and three necklaces, showered, and took the kiddo after her nap to the post office so I could mail out the finished jewelry (it's super annoying that I have to drive to the post office if I have outgoing mail...I can't wait to live somewhere that I can just walk to the end of the driveway).  We went to the park after that little trip, then daddy got home and took her to the grocery store with him so I could get started on another ring.  I finished that while he was out so I sat down to edit for a little while (a very short while...but I got over a hump in the story, so I still feel good about it).  After they got back, I filled out a questionnaire for a life insurance application my husband signed me up for (yea...so keep that in mind if I suddenly have a mortal accident in the next few months).  Now I'm blogging and looking forward to the kiddo's bedtime.  I'll hopefully do some more editing and I really want to take the doggy for a walk.

I'm sad that all this motivation returned the day before a cold spell in Arizona that's bringing a very rainy Wednesday, followed by highs in the 50s for the next few days.  Couldn't it have shown up a few days ago, so I could have really made the most of the mid 70s and sun?  Oh well, beggars can't be choosers, and I live in Arizona now...so if there's one thing I can count on, it's that the sun and heat will return.

First Read Through and New Year's Resolutions

I'm just about finished reading my book for the first time, start to finish.  I definitely have quite a few edits to make but there are both parts that I feel are extremely amazing, and parts I feel that really need work.  The amazing parts really do make me feel good though.  I would read a whole section thinking 'I wish I knew what I was doing the day I wrote this part because it's such better quality writing than the next page or two'.

I'm totally a New Year's Resolution type gal so, of course, I have a few ready for this upcoming Jan. 1st.  I will just go ahead and make a list for you...

1.  Make every effort in my power to get my book published.
2.  Make every effort in my power to get a good job.
3.  Enjoy exercising again (this past year was my first ever that I stayed active on a regular basis all year, so it has lost a lot of that 'fun' quality since becoming so routine).
4.  Do yoga more often (3-4 times a month, at least).
5.  Meditate more (5 times a week, at least).

My average amount of time of actually following my annual resolutions is only about 4-5 months, so I was worried about putting the first two resolutions on the list for fear that I'd quit on them just to stay consistent, but I figured number 2 is in crucial need of getting accomplished in month 1, and hopefully number 1 won't need more than 4-5 months (that's probably about when I'd get discouraged enough to quit for a while anyway).  Whew, that was a long sentence, but I think it makes sense.

So with the Christmas holiday coming to an end, and the New Year just around the corner, I'm really spending a lot of time daydreaming about what I want my 2013 year to look like.  The number 13 has always scared me, so hopefully this year gives me a reason to reevaluate why I let superstitions get the best of me.

No matter what happens in the coming year, I'll always remember 2012 and my final year in my 20s as the one I finally wrote my book :)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!