So for a couple of days, I'd be sitting around thinking "I'd totally have that bluetooth in right now" during all of these moments that my mind was idly drifting around in my poisonous thoughts (thoughts like 'I still don't have a job and no one will ever hire me' and 'my book is going to be awful' or 'I'm a failure of a parent because I can't potty train my child'). Yesterday while Jane was napping, I yet again said something along the lines of "I wish I had a bluetooth' to Steve, who (out of the blue) said 'just use my giftcard'. So I did. Thank you honey!!
I haven't taken the thing out, other than to sleep, since. There's definitely something wrong with me. I turned it off while we ate dinner, but I have had it on through things like conversations with steve, photographing and listing a pair of sneakers he never used to ebay, getting jane ready for bed, doing a load of laundry, taking Ike and Jane for a walk. I know what you're thinking...I'm a terrible person because I'm obviously not paying enough attention to my family. But it's turning out to have the opposite effect on me. I block out whatever I'm listening to on the bluetooth when I'm talking to Jane or Steve (or vice versa) and then I'm less edgy and temperamental when I'm doing boring jobs like picking up (so when someone drops the toy I just put away at my feet again, I smile and pick it up again while I'm listening to tips on publishing a book instead of getting angry).
So today, I'm listening to things like The New York Times free downloads from Audible, I Should Be Writing (a podcast by Mur Lafferty), Writing Excuses, and I'm searching for podcasts on potty training and subscribing to podcasts like Baby and Toddler Instructions.
Time to get back to potty training. (We're trying BIG GIRL UNDIES again!! Only peed on the floor once so far this morning while mommy was distracted on the phone with daddy...so we're blaming daddy for that one!)